It didn't take long for me to settle into the doldrums that was my sophomore year of college. After a rather hopeful first evening in Santa Cruz of wasting time in my newly filled single with Sarah and Tyler- they went home. I was again alone in my room, it was too late for me to call my now time-tested girlfriend, I sat at my computer and started up Sims 2.

When I get lonely, I don't much like to admit it. I'd prefer to uphold an image of confidence and self-reliance. I was often horribly lonely and needy on the inside. It was during this free time I actually managed to (gasp!) maintain light correspondence with the girlfriend that I talked to on the phone every evening and on instant messenger during the day! Let's not forget that I also managed to play Sims 2 for hours, make it to the gym on a daily basis and keep up with all of my classwork. Three meals a day is a little less of an accomplishment, but while we're listing my daily happenings.

The day before I'd arrived at Santa Cruz a handful of moments occurred. Matt and Sarah, who'd been going out for eight months at this point, called it quits and crushed my world (eh). A good portion of my friends had gotten an on-campus apartment together. While of course the people I'd decided to live with chose not to return to school. At this point in my life one of my greatest fears had been abandonment. I experienced a lot of abandonment that first month, as I sit in my room waiting for someone to spend time with me- door open.

About a week into my second year at UCSC, Danie and Tristan decided they were friends again. Which I was of course glad to hear. It was so nice of them to realize how dumb it was not to talk to each other during the four months I was home. It just combined with a lot of other nothingness to create what was the most boring summer of my life. So their absence caused my friendship keychain to crumble, I'm over it.

So the first two months of school were pretty dull. In fact, let's say the first two and a half months of school were pretty dull. It's not like I hadn't made any attempt to reach out and make some new friends. My second evening in Santa Cruz I left the comfort zone that was my room and introduced myself to my neighbors. I even got invited to watch a movie with the freshies in the hall (I didn't care much for first years), and managed to get to know a few of them.

Of course no amount of initial friendliness can accomplish much if you don't back it up with further insistence that you all become the best of friends. I've never excelled at the pushy follow up portion of friendship.

I soon sank back into my room. I talked to my girlfriend. I instant messaged with my best friends. I messed around with the newly invented Facebook. If you haven't gotten the picture yet, my life was pretty repetitive and boring.

I'd occasionally get together with Tyler, who was working as an R.A. in Crown. I would also get trotted out bi-weekly to meet Sarah's newest boyfriend, disapprove and return to my life of seclusion. Although, things weren't as bad as they'd seem.

I did enjoy the increased time I had to pay attention to the goings on of the world, mostly through FOX News. I also got to wake up with a 7 AM phone call to tele-walk my girlfriend (Rachel) to her job in the parking booth, it may seem like it was a pain but I actually enjoyed it. I recall many times when we would say goodbye as she reached work and I'd continue talking into my fingers as I drifted in and out of consciousness, waking up with my thumb and little finger extended like a phone.

I lost about ten pounds during the first few months of my sophomore year. Less people to talk to often translates to less people to eat with, and who wants to go to the dining hall by themselves? Regular gym visits also resulted in me getting rather in shape for the time.

I wasn't taking any classes that I particularly enjoyed. Introduction to Computing, Oceanography and Core Politics rounded out my schedule. I finished up the last of my GE's that quarter.

I grew disillusioned with school this quarter. It was becoming more difficult to make the payments they required of me and the university got very pushy about their money. This combined with general loneliness to make for a bad experience. I responded to their pressures by applying for transfers to Berkley, UCLA and UC San Diego. I figured if my life was going to be dedicated to schoolwork, it should be in a “better” school. If what I wanted out of my time in college was more of a social life, it should be in the school filled with my best friends.

It reached the point where I found myself sitting on my bed crying (b*tch) about the horrible situation I had found myself in. Of course, what happens when you finally reach the lowest point in your living situation? You forget to lock the door and your roommate from last year bursts in “SUR...prise...?”

It was a lot of fun to see Alvaro again, but I could've done without the mid-tear bursting in. All it meant at the moment was that I had to try and suck it up before he'd notice. Sadly, he wasn't as oblivious to human emotions as I'd hoped. I got to spend some time venting and he stayed the night, sleeping on my floor. His weekly visit became the sole bit of friendly human contact I'd get throughout the early quarter.

I had descended to the lowest point in my first quarter, I was brought to tears. There was nothing left for me to do but begin to pull myself up. About midway through October I heard a ruckus going on in the hallway lounge. It would seem that a few of the freshmen were trying to gather together for a dance party. I'd been lightly in contact with these freshies before, but had not become particularly friendly.

I noticed that their party was dull, I decided I'd had enough of my boring life. My Sims 2 characters were three generations in, and I needed some friends. I sucked it up, walked into the lounge and mumbled some derogatory remark about their weak excuse for a party. I stood in the center of the lounge and started to perform the Harlem Shake.

The Harlem Shake being a dance move popularized by P. Diddy, I had mastered it for a total of two hours during one of the freshmen exploits Jose and I had undertaken. Throughout the summer I would unveil the Harlem Shake to the amusement of all my friends, as by this time I was merely gyrating with clenched fists and a stern look. Even now I pull it out of the closet for brief but refreshing comic relief.

As I finished my moment in the sun. I looked out amongst the handful of lifeless first years. They appeared as if they didn't know whether I was serious or joking. I gave a smiling laugh and joined them on the couch. I sat in silence for another hour before the party broke up and I returned to my room in defeat. At least I'd given it my Bad Boy try.

The end of the month rolled around. I celebrated the birthday of my girlfriend and her twin sister Sarah. Sarah and I had planned to hang out together for Halloween in Santa Cruz. On October 31st, I locked myself in my room and shaved myself a Mr. T-like Mohawk. I ripped the arms off of a white t-shirt and wore some old blue jeans. I then posed for several pictures on my camera phone, showing off my gym-frequented muscles. Then, I played Civilization 3 most of the night while watching the History Channel's documentary on Alexander The Great.

Tyler had come by for a minute in the early night and invited me to a party, which I declined. The two of us sprinted over to College 9/10 for late night, my costume was loved by all. People would shout out “Mr. T!” as they saw me, I suppose that provided for a bit of an ego boost.

Later in the evening Sarah, her boyfriend Keith (not my Black/Filipino friend) and I joined a band of freshmen to wait for a bus downtown. Eventually we decided that it just wasn't happening that night. This was the first attempt I'd made to go downtown for October 31st, and it was a bust.

I spent the rest of Halloween on the balcony of my 5^th floor hall, talking to Rachel. One of the freshmen from the dance party approached me, Caity, her and her boyfriend offered me a bite of a giant rice krispy treat and an apple. I hate rice krispy treats, but I obliged out of friendliness. Yuck.

The next morning I woke up to Tyler knocking on my door. “Want to go see The Grudge?” Beggars can't be choosers, we set out to see the film I had no interest in. We came back, I continued with my regular fall quarter routine.

Then, something different happened. On November 2nd, 2004 we had a Presidential Election. I sat in the lounge watching it alongside Julia, another girl from the failed dance party. We talked about the election and waited for the outcome. We laughed about how they shouldn't even bother counting California's votes, as they were guaranteed to go to Kerry anyway. I don't remember if we decided whether or not Kerry had a real chance at pulling off a victory.

Later that same evening, as we'd both retired from the lounge, there was a knock at my door. Julia and Caity wanted to know if I was interested in joining them for late night dining.

I would spend the rest of the fall quarter answering questions like “what did you do in your room all that time?” and the likes. I'd just sort of gloss over the nerdy/pathetic details that made up that quarter. Everyone got to meet Alvaro and learn to love him. I also organized a combining of my friends from the year before and my newly made friends, hosting a Risk party in my lounge. It was great to have come out of everything okay, and to see all of my friends together.

Of course, at this point everything was still sort of shallow. I mean, these were new friends meeting with friends that I hadn't exactly seen a lot of during the previous month and a half. Still, for me it was sort of an outward expression of once again successfully transitioning from one set of experiences to the next.

Things were looking up from here on out. I began to spend more time hanging out with Caity and Julia, watching CSI and the same Dane Cook comedy episodes I'd watched during my freshmen year. I spent less time on the phone with my girlfriend, as I spent more time hanging out with my new friends. I tried to balance things out the best I could. Looking back, I feel a bit guilty about that. It sort of felt like leaving my significant other out to hang while I found new friends. Although, now that I think about it she had established a social circle by this point as well.

Everything pulled together for my sophomore year of college. It became almost as memorable as the golden age of freshmen year (nostalgically speaking of course).